By Hanns Heinz Ewers 1908
Copyright 2009 by Joe E. Bandel
Protected under United States Copyright Law as a derivative work of a foreign Author originally published prior to 1923
Page 1008 In the hand of the Baron
I’ve been through all the rooms in the castle. I recognize all my rooms but don’t recognize hers. She certainly has an advantage over me because she can remember everything that happens when she is I, but I can’t remember anything or almost nothing of what happens when I am she.
Her rooms are in back near the forest. She moved the grand piano into them as well. There are three rooms, a living room, a bedroom and a dressing room. I opened the dresser and closet in her bedroom. They were full of woman’s clothes and other women’s things. Suddenly the door opened and a young housemaid came in that I had never seen before.
“May I kiss your hand, gracious Lady Baroness,” she said. “Shall I help you change clothes?”
I waved at her to leave. So I have a Lady’s Maid when I am she! And all the servants call me Lady Baroness when I stay in these rooms! I opened her writing desk, apparently she is very organized. All the receipts lay bound in pretty little packets. On the top of the desk lay a slip of paper with notes written on it:
Order pine soap!
Get some Crême Simon!
Eau d’ Alsace!
Underneath these were the words:
By all means have a black dress made for when he finally-
When he finally what? Obviously for when I finally disappear completely! Then she will wear black and be in mourning! How touching, how affectionate, this-
I ran out of her rooms. I suddenly had the feeling that I was going to transform again if I stayed there another second. I shut the door; breathed out in relief- making certain that I was still myself.
I went up to Aunt Christine’s room. She was the oldest of my three aunts and yet had lived much longer than the others. I went into her room. I had not been into her room since I had been back at castle Aibling. The curtains were closed and the sunlight only shone feebly through them. The dust lay thick over everything. A faint lavender perfume rose from the ornamental covers that hung over the chairs and sofas.
On the table in a glass case stood a large stuffed dog. It was Tutti. I recognized him right away even though he was pathetically stuffed. Little Tutti, the favorite of my aunts, this fat horrible animal that I hated, that poisoned my childhood. He was always barking at me, glaring at me with angry eyes. Oh, I didn’t dare enter any room if he was in it. I was afraid. I was afraid of him.
Now this room belonged to him alone, stuffed little Tutti in his glass case and I had intruded. He glared at me with his huge yellow eyes with the same stupid, poisonous hatred of old times. I had never done anything to anger this fat dog but his glass eyes still said, “I will never forgive you!”
I was afraid. Again I was afraid of this fat poorly stuffed Tutti in his glass case, of this dead repulsive glass eyed dog that stared out at me, that had always hated me and still hated me. I couldn’t meet his gaze. I turned back around toward the window.
There she was standing by the window. She tore both curtains wide open and pushed the shutters back.
“Fanny,” she cried down into the yard below. “Fanny! Come up here immediately and clean this room. It is terrible how the dust lies over everything!
Then she was gone. Again I stood at the table but the window was wide open. Soon Fanny came through the door with a dust broom. I quickly ran past her.
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Page 1012 In the hand of the Baron
I sit at my writing desk. The newspaper lies in front of me. It says 16 September, but my travel calendar shows 5 August. It’s been that long- six weeks! I have not been here at all. I am only visiting in this world, in this castle that now belongs to her.
But I will not go peacefully, will not leave the place to her in this manner. I have already lost, only in battle do I still have a chance. So be it-
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On the same page in the hand of the Baron
I was in her rooms. I have thrown out all of her dresses and things. Kochfisch is building a huge funeral pyre down in the courtyard. I have rummaged through her things and torn up everything that belongs to her. I had everything put into a huge pile and set fire to it myself.
Kochfisch stood nearby, a tear ran down his cheek. I don’t know if he was in pain but I saw that something was on his heart and I asked him about it.
“Is it true Baron,” he said. “Is it really true! Are you really back for good?”
He reached out his hand and I shook it. It was like a promise. Oh, heaven. If only I can keep it! I’ve dismissed the Lady’s Maid. I had Kochfisch give her a half years salary if she would leave at once. Tomorrow I will travel. I don’t like the damned effeminate air around here.
Page 1013 In the hand of the Lady
You will not be traveling dear Baron! But I will be traveling in your men’s clothing. I am going to travel to Vienna and buy a new wardrobe. My Lady’s Maid travels with me. Watch out dear Sir. I am not playing around any more!
Page 1014 In the hand of the Baron
I awoke in my bed. I rang and Kochfisch came. He didn’t say anything but I knew well enough what he was thinking. It was a pleasant surprise to see me once again but there was also a hopeless resignation that it would not be for long!
I had breakfast. I went through all the rooms. They were all different. Everything had been cleaned and freshly scrubbed. The new furniture and paintings were all atrocious. I wanted to go riding and went to the stable but my horse wasn’t there anymore. It had been sold.
Three Isabellian mares stood there, beautiful long tailed Lady’s horses. I had been deposed. She had stolen everything. There were only two rooms left for me, my bedroom and the library where I worked. I read what she wrote on the last page-
Watch out dear Sir. I am not playing around any more!
I already knew that and I wasn’t playing around either. I stuck my Browning in my pocket. I had seen her twice already- that time in the group of people and then in Aunt Christine’s room. I would find her a third time and it would most certainly be the last time.
The same page continued in the hand of the Lady
So my dear Sir, the Browning is stuck in your pocket? No, I have laid it down again on the writing desk, leave it there! By the way, if you want to have a little fun I have a couple of small revolvers only half the size of yours. They will serve just as well. I have no fear, my dear Baron, my gallant courageous Baron that is still afraid of auntie’s stuffed little Tutti!
Grr, grr. The dead dog will jump out of its glass case! Crawl under the bed Sir Baron!
Page 1015 Diagonal across the entire page in the hand of the Baron
You slut, you dastardly contemptible slut!
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Page 1016 In the hand of the Lady
You fool, you fool. You cowardly fool!
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That was the last entry in the large black book. On the evening of 4 October Kochfisch heard a shot ring out from the bathing room. He hurried inside and found the naked corpse clothed only in a bathrobe lying over the divan.
It most certainly can not be called a suicide. It was much truer that he, Baron Jesus Maria von Friedel shot the Baroness Jesus Maria von Friedel or the other way around, that she killed him. I don’t know which. They both wanted the other one dead but wanted to live themselves. One of them wanted the other one dead and did it.
